It really was a good year. Lots of situations encountered and figured out. It was my last year as a single woman and living that laissez-faire lifestyle. Letting things fall where they may. In many ways I miss it, but I don’t miss is the uncertainty of it all.
I have stability now. A great foundation with my uber sweet husband who would do anything for me — maybe except dishes but that’s a compromise we’ve worked out.
As this year draws to a close, a rather quick one at that, it’s time for me to reflect about this past year. And for whatever reason, I’ve also lately looked back at that magical year of 2006. Five years ago –
I left Las Vegas, embarked on a new adventure in Salt Lake City. Learned things, lost touch with people, missed them incredibly, met new ones, tried to make friends, and quite possibly the biggest transformation to have happened. I left “Party Ria” behind me. I turned back into the sweet, responsible, pleasant girl I use to be before I moved and turned 21 in Las Vegas. Looking through my old Myspace blog entries is like reading a highly graphic smut novel. Seriously. Every time I look back there’s always that same thought to cross my head, “Who is that girl? That can’t possibly be me!”
Life these days is comfortable to say the least. I’ve got an awesome other half, two dogs that love me, my friends and family and I’m back in the city I grew up in. The City of Angels where the beach, the mountains, the dessert, wine country, and an island getaway is a mere day’s travel. Funny how I moved from the city of angels to sin city and back. In a sense, I escaped/survived sin city right? Ha. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it though. Sometimes “Party Ria” wants to come back out for a night or two. But she doesn’t fit in my life now. So what’s this poor soul to do? I could always go to Vegas for the weekend but all that shit will add up monetarily, lol.
I guess my goal for 2012 is to search for middle ground. A happy medium where all my sides can coincide comfortably. This past year has been amazing. I’m back home, back working in a restaurant, hanging with all my besties, seeing my family – the Barbosa’s and the Wilson’s and it’s great. So why am I so reflective and down? Could just be that time of year for me to reminisce and get all emo… It happens, it just hasn’t happened in a while.
Though there’s this thought in my head though that I can’t shake. I’m not comfortable talking about it at this moment. But it means a lot to me and makes me sad to know that I can’t pursue it and explore it. I’m the kind of person that’s either in it for everything or not at all. I just can’t half ass it. But I’ll deal with it. I always do in some way or another. It’s just…I wish I could but I can’t. For many reasons.
I hope next year will be better…
